TLoU: A New Beginning
by IamTheThorn
Summary: Joel and Ellie find themselves back at Jackson after the events of Salt Lake City, Ellie is struggling to come to grips with the lie that Joel tells her on the cliff above Jackson.. Joel struggles to become accustomed to a life where he doesn't have to constantly look over his back, or does he? EllieXOC and potentially JoelXEllie in later chapters.
1. Home Sweet Home

_**TLoU: A New Beginning**_

 **AN: Hey, so I've never really written a story like this before, so I thought I might give it a go and see how it turns out.. I've changed the ages of the characters a bit to suit the direction this story is going to take, Joel is 26, Ellie 15, Tommy is 36 and Maria is 28. The events of the game remain mostly unchanged except for when the outbreak occured which I will delve into in later chapters.. I don't have anyone to proof read at the moment so please be patient, any advice or criticism is greatly appreciated! Being an interstate truck driver, I won't have much time to write and release chapters, I will try my hardest to get at least one out each fortnight. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the read! :)**

"Swear to me! Swear to me that everything you said about the fireflies is true!" Ellie asks, half pleadingly, God I must sound like a brat she thinks as she looks Joel in the eyes, she can read him better than anyone ever could, she can see the pain, fear and anguish in his eyes but she can see so much more, things she's only just started to notice in him, like affection, loyalty, protectiveness and.. is that.. love? No, it can't be.. Love doesn't exist in this fucked up world.. at least not that Ellie has seen anyway, sure there was the brotherly love between Sam and Henry, and she was certain she could see it in Tommy's eyes when he looked at Maria and vice versa, but she was no expert in it.. Did Joel love Tess? was she his partner as well as his smuggling buddy? Ellie mentally shook her head, this is not the time to be thinking of this. Ellie continues to search his face for an answer, his expression doesn't change but the hesitation before he answered.

"I swear" is enough to make Ellie believe that he's lying to her, but why? She suddenly feels like she has been betrayed by the one person in this world she could trust, her protector, her anchor, her pillar of strength in a world hell bent on destroying it's self,

"Okay" she answers as she drops her eyes to the ground.

Joel stood there for a few moments trying to survey Ellie's reaction to his answer, did she know he was lying to her? Of course she did, Ellie was a smart girl and Joel knew that she could read him like a book, he had tried his hardest to keep himself closed off to her from the get go, but he knew it wasn't working, every day they spent together, when she clung to him when something didn't feel right or when she intertwined her fingers with his when they were walking and looked up at him with the biggest smile on her face and those bright green eyes twinkling in the sun light, he slowly come to realise that this girl was fast becoming his entire world, the only thing he lived for. She'd saved his ass more times than he can count, even nursed him back from the brink of death after he impaled himself on the rebar in the university, she endured so much pain and put herself in the face of danger just so she didn't loose him.. And he's gone and lied straight to her face.. You're a fucking top bloke, Joel.. You asshole..

"C'mon, Ellie, not much further now" he said as he turned around and started making his way down the trail to the main gates of Jackson, he didn't get a reply from her but the sound of her footsteps almost in time with his own let him know that she was following him, although nowhere near as closely as he'd have liked.. Joel knew that Tommy would be pleased to see him again but how would he react to Ellie coming back? Did Tommy know that she would have died for the cure? Did he know and not tell Joel when he was here last? The last part made Joel's anger boil up to the surface, he set his jaw and ducked his head and tried his best to push it back into the pits of which it came, no, Tommy would not do that.. Would he?

"Joel, I.. I umm." Joel turned his head to face Ellie who was now walking right beside him with her head down and her left arm holding her right, just bellow her scar,

"What's up, baby girl?" he asks, quiet affection in his voice, he can see that she is holding back from what she really wants to say, she's chewing on her bottom lip and rubbing her arm almost like it's on fire. Joel stops and puts a hand on her shoulder, Ellie jumps at the contact but also stops and turns so that she is facing him,

"Ellie, you've been very quiet since we left the car, mind telling me what's goin on in that head of yours?" he asks, Ellie looks up at him and the look that's on his face scares her somewhat, she can see the worry etched into the lines of his face and can hear the pleading tone in his voice but his eyes, the concern that's swimming in them, the same look from when he saved her from the burning steak house that winter, she chokes up but holds back on her sobs, only just, she looks around quickly and catches a glimps of the front gates.

"Look!" she pipes up "We're almost there!" Joel turns in the direction that she is pointing and lets out sigh,

"That we are baby girl, C'mon" he grabs her hand in his and gives it a quick squeeze before they move out onto the main track just in front of the gate.

The guards in the watch towers both point their rifles at the two weary travellers, "Put your hands above your heads and do not move or we won't hesitate to open fire!" says the guard in the left hand tower, Joel and Ellie both raise their hands, Ellie's still enveloped in Joels massive hand, the guard in the right hand tower radio's in, Ellie can't quite catch what he's saying but she does hear him say 'brother' and 'little girl' christ she was sick of being called a little girl, she was 15 for fucks sake! The guard nods but they both continue to hold their rifles on the two, Ellie feels like she's been standing there for what feels like hours with her hands in the air, before the front gate finally opens and out pops Tommy, a weary look on his face before he notices his brother, he immediately breaks out into a smile and when he notices Ellie, his smile falters but then widens even more, Ellie thinks to herself how is that even possible without tearing the skin around his mouth open, but she is pulled out of her thoughts as she feels Joel's hand leave hers and watches him walk the few steps to be face to face with his brother, they stare at one another for a few seconds before Tommy envelopes his brother in a bone crushing hug,

"I'm glad you made it back, baby brother" he says as he pulls back to look at Joel again, "Christ, you look like shit" he mentions with a small chuckle at the end,

Joel grunts and replies,"feelin' it too, brother" as he comes back to me and takes my hand in his again.

Tommy turns to me,"Ellie, good to see you made it back too, thanks for keeping my dumb ass brother alive." he says as the smile returns to his face,

"it was a fuckin' challenge, Joel loves to dive head first into shit before thinking it through" she replies as she nudges Joel's shoulder with hers, he just scoffs and rubs his free hand through her hair and messing it up, Ellie lets out a little yelp before swatting his hand away and trying to tame the mess he created.

"C'mon in, you two, we'll get you fed, showered and into some clean clothes and you can tell Maria and I all about your little adventures over dinner, if you want" Tommy says as he turns to head back to the gate, gesturing for the two of them to follow him.

One of the guards pipes up, "Sir, shouldn't we screen them for infection before we let them in?"

Tommy dismisses him and replies, "I'll get Doc to come over and check them out at my place, just relax, Joel wouldn't come back and endanger the town if he or his girl were infected."

The guard looks from Tommy to Joel and Ellie before nodding and stepping down, still looking concerned, Ellie suddenly feels very uncomfortable with the whole situation and Joel must sense it because he gives her hand a reassuring squeeze before motioning her to walk with him and Tommy through the gate and back to Tommy's.

It doesn't take long for them to reach the front door to Tommy and Maria's house, Tommy opens it and beckons for them to come inside before shutting the door behind them and leading them into the kitchen where Maria is leaning over the stove cooking something that Ellie has never smelt before, whatever it was smelt delicious and was starting to make her mouth water, the notion of real food, a shower, be it hot or cold and a real bed to sleep in makes her feel giddy until she realizes that Tommy and Maria will most likely put them in separate rooms, Ellie's gut drops and the fear returns as the thought of sleeping alone runs through her mind, she quickly dismisses it knowing that they are safe here in Jackson, but the feeling still lingers in the back of her mind.

Joel releases his grip from her hand and takes his pack and weapons off and sits them against the wall in the living area, Ellie noticing that he still keeps the revolver tucked into the waist of his Jeans, Ellie quickly follows suit and drops her pack and bow right next to Joel's but leaves her pistol in it's place in the back of her jeans.

Maria turns around giving her husband a quick peck on the lips before turning to greet them, "Joel, Ellie! I'm so glad the two of you made it back in one piece!" she exclaims, excitement evident in her voice "please, take a seat, dinner is almost ready! I'm sure the two of you must be starving!"

Joel is the first to speak "Thank you ma'am, Ellie and I appreciate this greatly!" Ellie just nods with a sheepish smile plastered on her face as Joel pulls a chair out from the table and beckons for her to sit before doing so himself.

"I'd offer you a beer, brother but I ugh.. Kind of finished them off last night" came Tommy's voice from what Ellie assumed was a walk in pantry "but I've got some of this so I'm sure you won't mind" he walks into view with a bottle of spirits in his hand, Jack Daniels to be exact.

"Tommy, is.. is that the real deal?" Joel asks dumbfounded, a disbelieving expression on his face, Ellie can't help but laugh at the way he looks, Maria just shakes her head with a smirk on her lips,

"You betcha it is! Found it a few years back, been savin it for a special occasion." Tommy replies as he pulls out four glasses from the cupboard, four? Is he going to let me drink? Ellie thinks, suddenly sitting up straighter in her chair, happy that she's being treated as an equal and not a little kid.

"figured this would be the perfect occasion to crack her open and have a few, am I right?"

Joel lets out a genuine chuckle "damn, brother, you certainly are full of surprises!"

Tommy just grins and places a two glasses down where him and Maria will no doubt be sitting, he places another one in front of Joel and hesitates before putting the last down in front of Ellie, he looks to Joel obviously asking the silent question, that annoys Ellie a bit but she knows he's doing it for his own protection, from Joel, not because he thinks she's a little kid.

Joel looks to Ellie "Do ya want to have some?" he asks,

"Hell yes I do!" she replies enthusiastically, smile spread across her face, Joel smiles at her reply before giving her shoulder a light squeeze, Tommy puts the last glass down and goes for the bottle, he cracks the seal taking off the lid and giving the opening a quick sniff, before closing his eyes and sighing in satisfaction,

"Aged to perfection" he comments with a sly smile on his face, Joel chuckles whilst shaking his head.

"Dinner is served!" Maria calls out as she brings out two plates filled to the point of over flowing with what looks to be pot roast with mashed potato and corn and setting them down in front of Joel and Ellie before returning to get the other two from the kitchen for her and Tommy, Tommy fills each glass to about three quarters full of the brown liquid before capping the bottle and placing it down in the middle of the table,

Joel picks his glass up and gives it a little swirl before taking a big whiff, the smile that's on his face becomes even wider and he takes a small sip sighing with satisfaction before turning to Ellie,

"Take it slow, Ellie or that will put you on your ass quicker than a crash tackle from a bloater" he teases,

"What, don't you think I've ever been drunk before?" she chides back picking up her glass and taking a sniff, she scrunches her nose up and pulls her head away, Joel just laughs and ruffles her hair again, Ellie brings the glass to her lips and takes a small sip scrunching her face up as she swallows, feeling the unfamiliar burn as it runs down her throat and into her gut.

"erugh, how the fuck can you drink this shit?" she asks putting the glass down and pushing it away from her,

"It grows on ya" Tommy says as he takes a seat and has a large sip of from his glass, sighing in satisfaction "just as I remembered it" he says,

"I'm hearin ya" Joel says as he takes a larger sip from his before tucking into his dinner, Ellie was way ahead of him on that one, this was by far the best thing she's ever eaten!

"Now you boys behave" Maria scolded playfully. The rest of the meal went by with small talk about the town and how everything was coming together so well, How Ellie and Joel would make valuable assets once they were settled in.

Once the meal was finished and Ellie had gone back for seconds and even a third helping, the dishes were cleared and they all sat at the table laughing and talking, Ellie had started to feel the effects of the alcohol and once she had finished her first glass had declined a refill as she was quite happy to just sit and listen to the stories that the two texan brothers were telling and how Tommy had met Maria and she had practically handed his ass to him.

Ellie let a yawn escape her and suddenly she was feeling the weight of their travels coming down on her full force, Maria noticed and offered to take her up and show her where the shower was and her room, much to Ellie's dismay, they had put her and Joel in separate rooms but she was too tired to argue, so she just thanked Maria and went for her shower.

Joel and Tommy had retreated to the front deck for a chat whilst the girls did their thing,

"so, how'd it all go?" Tommy asked curiously, Joel sighed and let his head fall to his hands,

"The university was abandoned, they'd left a while ago, that winter was... Was one of the worst I.. We've ever been through, I was wounded pretty badly and Ellie went to the ends of the earth to bring be back from the brink of death.." Joel was speaking so quietly and carefully it was almost out of character for him,

"She was kidnapped by a pack of... Monsters, when I found her she was.. She was distraught, she'd killed the leader and I had to drag her off of him and got her out of there..." Joel stopped, taking a few shaky breathes and wiping his eyes with his sleeve before continuing.

"She was pretty beat up, Tommy, I was so scared for her, I was hurtin too but I never left her side, she clung to me for dear life for days before she was ready to move on.." Tommy put his hand on Joel's shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze,

Joel continued, "we found em at St Mary's hospital in Salt Lake City.. She'd almost drowned trying to save my stupid ass again, I was trying to revive her when one of them assholes knocked me out, next thing I know I'm wakin up in a hospital bed with a gun in my face and Marlene by my side explainin bout how Ellie was goin to die... Die for the right cause..." Joel paused again, sobs tearing through his frame and he didn't try to control them.

Tommy had moved back to the bench and sat down with a disbelieving look on his face, "those.. Fucking.. Then what, Joel? What happened next?" he asked urgency in his voice.

"I killed them, I.. I fucking wiped them off the face of this planet! They were goin to cut her brain out, they didn't even bother to wake her up before the procedure, they were.. I.. "

Joel sighed as he ran his hand down his face "I shot Marlene in the car park after I put Ellie in the car.." Tommy stood up anger prominent on his face until Joel turned around to face him, a man that this world had tried to break on so many occasions, who had stood tall through it all now suddenly looked so small and broken that it broke Tommy's heart to see him like that.

"You.. You love that girl, don't you?" he asked, not breaking his eye contact with him,

"If she had died that day, on that operating table, I would have eaten a bullet before I even left the building" Joel spoke so quietly that Tommy thought he was hearing things, "you have no idea what that girl means to me!" he finished finally breaking eye contact with Tommy.

"No, brother, I don't. But I can understand why you did it" Tommy says,

"She deserves a happy life, brother, and I'm going to give her that to the best of my abilities, so help me god!" Joel says with conviction so strong that it makes Tommy flinch,

"Have you told her yet?"

Joel looks down "No.. When the time is right.. Soon I will."

Tommy nods before embracing his younger brother, "C'mon, lets go in and get you cleaned up and off to bed, Lord knows you need your beauty sleep" he says with a cheeky grin on his face, Joel just scoffs before nodding and making his way up to the bathroom for a well earned shower.

Ellie was laying in bed when she heard the water turn off and the sounds of Joel drying himself and getting dressed, she was uncomfortable on her own to say the least but at least they were under the same roof, that thought does little to ease her fear though. She was startled by a soft knock at the door.

"c..come in" she calls out meekly, Joel enters the room and in the dim light she can see that he is only wearing boxers, as he comes closer she can see all the scars on his torso from his years of being a survivor and the ugly scar at the bottom of his abdomen from last winter, she shudders.

"I was just comin to say goodnight" he says as he sits lightly on the end of her bed, Ellie looks up to meet his eyes before smiling and sitting up to give him a hug,

"Goodnight, Joel" she says quietly,

Joel smiles and gets up to make his way to the door, he stops about halfway and turns to face Ellie who's still sitting up in bed in one of his old shirts, he cocks an eyebrow and smiles.

"If ya need anything, anything at all I'm just down the hall, baby girl" he turns and heads for the door,

"Okay" Ellie says quietly as he shuts the door behind him, bathing her in darkness again, she lets herself fall back on the bed letting loose a sigh of frustration, she rolls onto her side facing away from the door, clutching her pillow like it's her last life line.

Joel shuts his door and lets himself drop onto his bed, he was so exhausted and was glad to be able to sleep in a proper bed for once rather than on the hard ground, but something didn't feel right, he missed the warmth that Ellie provided by his side all those nights they were on the road, he rolled onto his side facing away from the door hoping that sleep would consume him but it never came and when it did.

He was only brought back into the land of the living by the creak of his bedroom door and the sound of it latching shut and the soft padding of little feet on the floor, he felt her crawl into bed and he rolled over so that he was face to face with her,

"Couldn't sleep huh?" he asks quietly as he tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"Mm mm" she replies before rolling over and cuddling into his chest,

"Me neither" he replies wrapping his arm around her and intertwining his fingers with hers, the warmth and the feel of her steady breathing brought some comfort to him, knowing that she was safely in his embrace.

The sound of Ellie's light snoring was like music to Joel's ears, he'd laid awake for quite some time just listening to her sleep, he struggled to keep his eye's open and rather than fight it, he let it finally take hold of him, falling into a dreamless deep sleep that he'd been wanting for for too long.

 **A/N: So that's the first chapter down, umm yeah.. Ellie's struggling with the fact that Joel had lied to her, yet she can't stand being away from him, even in a separate room, Joel struggled with the short recap of their adventures knowing that he nearly lost her.. Anyway the next chapter is going to be interesting, how will Ellie react to Joel telling her the truth? What will Joel do when he's confronted by Tommy to take Ellie to the local Doc for a check up? Stay tuned to find out.**

 **Peace! :)**


	2. The Truth

**Chapter Two**

 _ **TLoU BELONGS TO NAUGHTY DOG AND I DO NOT OWN IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM OWN THE GAME OR CHARACTERS!**_

 _ **A:N Second chapter! I rewrote this three times already so I hope you enjoy the read! Trying to update chapters from an Ipad is an absolute pain in the back side, but I got there! Anyway, please remember to subscribe and follow the story and please leave a review! I will try and respond as soon as I can! Enjoy! :)**_

It'd been just over two weeks since Joel and Ellie had returned to Jackson, for the first few days Tommy and Maria had let them rest as long as they needed, Joel was always up before Ellie even began to stir, every morning she would turn over and be met with nothing, she'd open her eyes and notice the bed was empty where Joel had been the night before, Maria had caught her leaving Joel's room on their third day, she'd been coming up the stairs and had almost collided with a startled Ellie, Maria just stood there looking at the girl with her arms crossed and a smirk across her face.

"What are you smiling at?" Ellie had said, her face blushing slightly at being caught red handed.

Maria chuckled, "Nothing, dear, I was just coming up to tell you breakfast was ready and to hurry down before the boys devoured it all." she looked at Ellie and then back at Joel's room before smiling warmly at the girl and turning to make her way back down stairs.

Ellie huffed in annoyance and went straight for her room to get changed for the days activities before reluctantly heading downstairs for breakfast.

The days had gone by quickly with Joel running around helping Tommy with jobs that needed to be done around the dam and on the farms, Ellie had gone with Maria to help her with sorting out the guard duty rosters or helping at the stables, Ellie was glad that Maria hadn't brought up about the morning she had caught her leaving Joel's room, she didn't want to have to explain to her that she was scared of sleeping alone and she doubted whether Maria would believe her or not anyway.

Ellie and Maria were on their way back home when they ran into the boys, Maria immediately walked up to Tommy and gave him a hug and a kiss on the lips to which he returned whole heartedly, Ellie just walked up beside Joel and nudged him with her shoulder, he threw his arm over her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

Tommy was the first to speak as he turned to face the two of them, "Now I've got a suprise for the two of you," he said as a smile spread across his face "follow me."

the four of them walked past Tommy and Maria's place and continued to the end of the road before turning up another and continuing further along till they came to a small cottage, the white paint had only just started to peal down the bottom of the walls and all it's windows were intact, all in all the outside looked to be in fairly good condition.

"Now y'all are residents of Jackson now so ya need a place to live, this was one of the nicer houses we had available so I got a few of the guys to clean it up for the two of you" Tommy said, turning to face them with a massive grin plastered across his face.

Joel was just standing there with a look of astonishment on his face, "Tommy, I.. You.. Thank you!" he says quietly,

Ellie was amazed now only at the little house that was now theirs, but also at how lost for words Joel had seemed, this is probably the closest thing he's had to a home since before the outbreak, She let a huge smile crawl across her face before speaking, "This is awesome! Oh my god, thank you guys so much!" excitement evident in her tone.

Tommy handed Joel the key "now go on in and get yourself settled, Maria and I will head back home to give you both some peace, you can come back and get the rest of your gear when you're ready." he said as he put his arm around his wife.

Joel nodded, "Thanks, brother, for everything" Joel turned his eyes to Maria, "and you too, Maria, Ellie and I are mighty grateful for your hospitality" he says earnestly.

Ellie nods in agreement to Joel's statement "Thank you guys, for everything!" she says with a greasy smirk on her face, "especially for this!" she gestures to the house as she says the last part.

"In a world as torn apart as ours, you've got to look out for the family that you've still got left" Maria says quietly, "now get in there and get settled already!"

Joel looks down to Ellie, "C'mon kiddo, let's go check it out." He says as turns and starts heading for the front door,

Ellie wastes no time in bounding past Joel, yelling out as she passes him "hurry up old man!" She turns and waits for him at the front door, bouncing on the ball of her feet.

"I'm not old"! Joel grumbles back to her with a small smile on his face, he slides the key into the lock and opens the door, he steps through with Ellie hot on his heels.

Joel is in awe at how nice Tommy had managed to get this place cleaned up, it looked almost untouched from the aftermath of the Cordyceps, the loungeroom was cosy with a three seater and recliner nestled infront of a TV unit, I wonder if that still works? he thinks to himself, over on the far wall is an open face fireplace with fresh timber inside ready to be burnt, the dining room had a table and four chairs all in reasonable condition and the kitchen is as you'd expect, stove, sink, cupboards and fridge, which Joel could hear the motor humming away in, he put it at the back of his mind to check it's contents when he was finished with the tour,

down the hall was the bathroom which had a bath, separate shower and toilet, Ellie came in behind him and turned the tap on the sink on and was suprised when water came out with decent pressure, she put her hand under to test the temperature and gasped when she felt that the water was hot,

"Fuck yes!" she yells, "we've got hot water, Joel!" smile beaming on her face as she checks out the bath tub and shower before rushing off to explore the rest of the house.

Joel just chuckles and shakes his head as he heads out and down the hallway to where the bedrooms are, there were only two bedrooms which was more than enough for him and Ellie, he opened the door and walked into the first room, a decent size, it had a queen sized bed , two bedside tables and a tallboy as well as a built in robe, more than enough storage for what he's got he thinks, he sits on the bed and gives it a bit of a bounce and is pleasantly suprised when it's not as hard as a rock like the bed at Tommy and Maria's, he decided that after they finished checking the place out he would let Ellie decide which room she wanted.

He get's up and walks to the next room and pokes his head in, it has similar furnishings to the first room however instead of the queen sized bed, it's only got a double which he finds the small red head spread eagled on with a giant smile on her face and her eyes closed.

"This is so my room" she says quietly not realising Joel is standing at the door until he clears his throat to announce his arrival, Ellie's eyes shoot open and she sits up on the bed.

"See you've made yourself at home." he says smirking at the girl as he leans against the door frame with his arms crossed.

"Yeah it's nice, it's a place that we can finally call home, ya know?" she says timidly, looking up to meet Joel's eyes

His smile falters slightly before he nods his head, "yeah.. I guess it is our home now innit?" he straightens up and beckons Ellie out of the room, "Now do you want this room or the other, it's got the bigger bed, ya know?" he says teasingly

Ellie looks away and starts heading for the kitchen, "Nahh, I like this room, you can have the other" she says, turning to flash a toothy grin at him.

"suit ya self" he says as he makes his way out to the front porch and takes a seat on the step looking down the street and out over the town.. Not a bad view he thinks to himself.

Ellie joins him moments later and breaks his train of thought, "What's this stuff?" she asks whilst brandishing a brown glass bottle in front of his face,

Joel chuckles, "well I'll be damned" he grabs the bottle from Ellie and examines it before twisting the top off, he's met with the satisfying sound of a carbonated beverage opening up, "this" he says then taking a quick drink and giving out a contented sigh, "is beer, not quite as bad as liquor, but it can still kick ya in the guts if you have to many of them!" he hands the bottle to Ellie, "have a try" he says with a reassuring smile on his face.

Ellie takes the bottle back from Joel pensively whilst putting the opening to her nose and giving a little sniff, it doesn't smell too bad she thinks to herself, she puts it to her lips and takes a small sip, letting the cold amber fluid wash through her mouth and down her throat, she doesn't cringe, cough or splutter like she did with the Jack Daniels those weeks back, it's a little bitter but sweet also, the feeling of the fizzy liquid running down her throat and settling in her gut gives her a shiver,

"That's.. not to bad actually" she says as she hands the bottle back to Joel,

He accepts it willingly before taking another swig, placing the bottle down, he gets up and turns to Ellie, "We should probably go get the rest of our gear from Tommy and Maria's before it gets to late" he says beckoning for Ellie to follow him.

"Yeah, okay" as she gets up to follow him.

It doesn't take them long to retrieve the rest of their belongings from Tommy and Maria's, Joel thanked them one last time for everything they'd done for the pair in the last three weeks since their arrival in Jackson, Ellie didn't say much during the time they were there, just nodding and giving the odd 'yeah' or 'okay' when required,

She'd been having weird moods since the day that they arrived here and it was all because of the two words that Joel had hesitantly said up on the ridge, the scene played continuously through Ellie's mind and she'd imagined him telling the truth, or confessing his lie before they made it to the gates, she'd imagined screaming at him, hitting him and even running off into the woods in the hope of loosing him and being able to calm herself down enough to decide whether or not to head back to Salt Lake City without him in hopes of still being able to produce a cure, it was eating her away and slowly but surely tearing her apart, and she was over it, she decided that tonight, she was going to confront him and get the truth out of him, even if it killed her in doing so.

Joel had said his goodbye's and was making his way past the front door, he'd put his hand gently on Ellie's shoulder and the contact made her jump, she wasn't expecting that, he looked at her with a raised eyebrow and a puzzled look on his face but didn't say anything, they walked back home in complete silence, with Joel up front and Ellie trailing behind running different scenario's through her head on how tonight was going to play out, it didn't take quite as long as she'd expected for them to reach their house but once Joel had held the front door open and she'd walked in and dumped her pack on the floor by the couch, he spoke up,

"Ellie, what's been goin' on with you? you've been actin' mighty weird lately and I'm startin' to worry 'bout you." he said, obvious concern evident in his voice and on his weathered face.

Ellie spun around to face him and looked directly into his eyes, "Joel, I.." she sighed before continuing "I want you to tell me the whole truth on what happened back at the hospital." she said

"Ellie."

"No, I know you lied to me Joel, I could see it in your face then and I can fucking damn well see it now, so cut the shit and tell me the truth!" she had started to raise her voice by the end and she was starting to feel flustered and annoyed that he was trying to skirt away from the subject.

Joel sighed, lowering his head and pinching the bridge of his nose, "Sit" he grumbled,

"What?"

"I said sit!" he barked as he pulled his pack off and dug through one of the side compartments.

Ellie complied reluctantly to his command and sat on the lounge, she watched him as he rummaged through his pack obviously looking for something, but what? she thought.

Joel finally dropped his pack to the floor and walked to where Ellie was and held out what he had in his hand for her to take, "this was on the trolley next to your operating table when I got you out of there." there was a hint of annoyance mixed with resignation in his voice,

"It was Marlene's recorder, you should listen to it first, and if you want more answers from me, I'll give them to you." he said as he sat down on the recliner by the lounge, he put his elbows on his knees and ran his hands through his hair before sitting back.

Ellie eyed the recorder skeptically before nodding once and pressing the play button, static crackled forth before a voice emanated from the speaker.

"It's been almost 12 months since you handed the immune girl off to those smugglers in Boston to get out to us Marlene, I'm starting to think that they aren't going to show" whoever the voice belonged too didn't sound angry or frustrated, it sounded old and calm, much older than Joel's voice Ellie thought.

"They will come, David. I know Joel and Tess, they will stop at nothing to get the job finished, this one is no different." it was Marlene's voice this time.

"And if they do make it here, then what? We left all of our research back at the university after the monkey's escaped, none of the machines in this hospital work, we don't have the right tools to run any viable tests on the girl, the only way we could potentially get anything from her is if we preform an autopsy and even then, the chances of us learning anything or even crafting a vaccine will be minimal." again, this David fellow sounded calm, too calm considering what the conversation was about.

"We will David, The Cordyceps attack the brain, we don't need to run tests on the girl, all we need is her brain and we can learn everything we've ever needed to know about the fungus from it!" She sounded determined for this to work which scared Ellie a little bit, did Marlene always know that this would kill her?

"You seemed to have missed the point that I'm trying to make, Marlene. Although the CBI's predominately attack the brain, the infection is spread through out the body via the blood stream, from the evidence gathered by our research back at the university, the only way the girl could be immune to the infection is if the CBI count in her blood is that low that it would be having no effect on her, she would be a carrier, she wouldn't be able to infect others either from biting them, getting her blood on them or via sexual intercourse.. We need to study her blood for that reason alone, so just cutting her brain out as you are suggesting will not advance us any closer to finding a cure than we are now."

"I would recommend sending a team to clear the infected monkey's from the university so that we can return and continue with the research there, we have functioning machines and laboratories that will allow us to test the girl and keep her alive so that we have more than one shot at this" David seemed to be raising a fair point, she thought.

"Absolutely not, I cannot risk any more of my men to do that, our security is already spread to thinly through the hospital, we will just have to make do with what we've got to do the job and if the girl dies in the process.. Well.. That's a price I am willing to pay for the vaccine." What the fuck, is she serious?

"Then I am afraid you will have to find another surgeon to do the job, I will not kill a little girl to save people who do not deserve to be saved!" David sounded angry and Ellie could hear the sounds of movement and the sound of a gun being cocked.

"You will do as I say David or you will be forced at gun point to do the job and if it comes to that, then once we have crafted the vaccine and you are no longer needed, I will kill you myself!" Marlene sneered at the man, Ellie could almost play out how the scene was unfolding in her head.

"Well you might as well kill me no-"

The recording died before David could get the last of his sentence out..

Ellie looked up to Joel who was still sitting in his chair, his eye's shifted to lock on with hers, "Is this true? Is this why you got me out of there before they could operate?" Her voice sounded shaky like she was on the verge of tears,

"Yes it's true, no it's not the reason I got you out of there, I didn't get the chance to listen to it until we were in the car" Joel said as he looked away from Ellie and out the front window.

"Then.. Why'd you do it if you didn't know about that?" her voice was small, a tear ran down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away with her sleeve.

"Because no matter what, you always find something worth fightin' for." Joel didn't move to look at her, instead he lowered his head into his hands and let out a shaky sigh,

"I did it for you, Ellie, because after everything you've been through and after everyone you've lost, you deserve to be able to live a somewhat normal life, you deserve to be happy, to find love, have a family and to be able to grow old and watch them grow around you, I wasn't going to let you be cut up like.. Like some fucking lab rat!"

Joel stood up and walked over to the window with his back to the girl who was yet to speak up and tell him that he had no right to do what he had done, "and I did it because... If I'd lost you that day, I wouldn't have made it out of that hospital before I'd eaten a bullet, you are worth more to me than the future of this fucked up world" he said in almost a whisper.

"What about me, Joel? Did you even stop to think that maybe I'd have wanted them to continue and let me die for the cure? Because that is what the whole fucking journey was for, wasn't it? Maybe I wanted to save the fucking world! But you took that chance away! And it still doesn't explain why you LIED!" she yelled, tears flowing freely down her face, but she didn't care, she was too angry.

Joel whirled around to face her, "You've seen what man is capable of out there Ellie, do you honestly think that scum like that are worth saving? Do you think they are worth your life? Because I sure as fuck don't! No way in hell!" Joel was frustrated, not at her but at himself, he's the one to blame here, not Ellie.

"And for lying to you, I am truly sorry! I wasn't thinking at the time and I regretted it the moment the words left my mouth, but you were still grogy from the drugs and you could barely think straight let alone walk in a straight line, so it was the only thing I could think to do! Hell, if I could do it all again, that'd be the only thing I'd change!" his voice had lowered and it was almost too quiet for Ellie to hear at the end of the sentence.

"Oh great, you're sorry for lying to me, Thanks Joel! That makes everything so much better now!" She spat the words out at him and winced as he flinched away like he'd been physically hit,

"Am I really the bad person here, Ellie? Because Marlene lied to you as well and it was far bigger and had many more consequences than what I'd said, she was practically a mother to you and she didn't give two fucks whether you lived or died!" Joel's voice was low and filled with anger and Ellie could see it in his face,

"it doesn't change the fact that you lied as well, asshole!" she screamed at him.

Joel's face softened at that and he sighed, " I know, I wish I could take it back, Ellie, I really do!" Joel walked over to Ellie and grabbed one of her hands in his, rubbing his thumb over the top of her knuckles, "You know I wouldn't have done it intentionally to hurt you.. Don't you?" he asked softly,

Ellie didn't pull away from the contact, as angry as she was at Joel, she knew that he was right, all he has ever done since they met is protect her, from infected, hunters, rapists, cannibals, water and even himself sometimes, she knew he meant well but she couldn't help but to still feel angry at him.

"Yeah.. I know you wouldn't." she said softly as she pulled her hand from his grasp, he didn't fight it and Ellie was glad for that even though the lack of contact left her feeling cold and alone.

"I... I just need some time to think about everything, so I can wrap my head around things." she says as she looks away from him and down towards her room,

"I understand." he says as he steps back from her, she looks up at him with sadness still evident in her eyes.

She doesn't say anything else as she picks up her pack and makes for her bedroom, she closes the door behind her and drops her stuff to the floor before falling face down onto the bed, she buries her face into the pillow and hopes that it muffles her sobs enough so that Joel can't hear them, she doesn't know how long she stayed like that but when she rolled over onto her side, it was clearly night time, she could hear the water in the bathroom and she presumed that Joel was having a shower, she heard it shut off and not long after she heard soft foot steps leading from the bathroom to the room across the hall from hers, the door shut softly and she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding in.

She listened to the recording three more times before finally, sleep took hold of her and she fell into a restless slumber.

Joel watched as Ellie picked up her gear and headed for her bedroom, it pained him to see her like this but he knew that it needed to be done and better sooner rather than later, right? He sat down on the lounge chair and let out a heavy sigh as he rested his head against the old leather, his mind wondering to when they had first met, when she had first shot the bandit that was trying to drown him and how she'd been his guardian angel with the rifle when they ran into more of them, he remembered how scared she was when he'd fallen onto the rebar in the university and how hard she had fought to get them both out alive, they'd briefly spoken about that winter when she had nursed him back slowly from the brink of death, it brought a tear to his eye at remembering everything she'd done for him, and his mind immediately went to the burning steak house and what he'd found there, a battered and bruised hysterical girl who was swinging a machete into the head of her attacker with so much desperation, once the adrenaline had worn off he'd had to carry her to a safe house because of her injuries and exhaustion, she'd cried into his chest for hours and refused to let him go at all, that's when he broke.

Joel let the sobs come and go naturally, they didn't last long and he wiped his eyes once they'd stopped, he sighed and got up off the lounge chair, he decided to go have a shower to try and help him relax, he stood under the hot water for what felt like an eternity, he washed himself and his hand briefly moved over the scar on his lower belly, he tried not to think about it, he turned the water off and dried himself off before getting changed, he walked out of the bathroom and stopped briefly in front of Ellie's door, he wanted to check to see if she was still in there but decided against it and went to his room instead, he closed the door softly and practically fell onto the bed, he'd laid there for hours, tossing and turning, hoping that Ellie would come in and hop into bed like she'd been doing every night before hand but she never came, eventually he fell into a fitful sleep,


End file.
